Blogs » Alison Bezzina

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Live, let live, or get out of my way!

Life never stops to amaze me. I go through phases, sometimes even long phases, thinking that I have seen it all, read it all, or heard it all, but occasionally something new manages to come out of nowhere and slaps me right across my self-assured face!

Up until a couple of weeks ago I would have sworn, hand on heart, that we, as a nation, have finally matured enough not to bother with petty social constructs and traditions. I would have sworn that the stereotypical ‘sindikajri’ behind the proverbial ‘persjani’ do not exist anymore. I was absolutely convinced that life keeps everyone so busy making a living and raising families, that no one has the time to bother with things that do not affect them directly. If someone had to tell me that a simple name change on a doorbell label would not have gone by unnoticed, I would have laughed in their face and called them silly!

But not only did it not go by unnoticed, but some good soul or souls took such offence that I changed the names on my doorbell label from Bezzina to Bezzina/Grima, that they wrote a three-page long letter to explain why we (Bezzina and Grima) will both be going to hell unless we change our ways and save ourselves.

Initially we took it to heart. We felt invaded and frustrated because whoever wrote the letter was not brave enough to sign it so we couldn’t tell them where to shove it and to mind their own friggin business. But after I posted the letter on Facebook (God bless that), we found out that the same letter was sent to various people around the island. This made us feel somewhat better, in the sense that we stopped feeling that we had been specifically picked out as freaks, but simply formed part of a whole lot of freaks that were being targeted in a soul-saving exercise by some religious coward.

The letter which can be viewed at www.alisonbezzina.com/catholic-coward-letter/ was meticulously written and came accompanied with six holy pictures stapled together. I’m sure that if someone had to analyse the person’s handwriting they would conclude that there’s some form of obsessive disorder going on but I digress. Not knowing why the label on the doorbell is showing two surnames, the authors of the letter tried to think of every possibility....or so they thought. The letter said – ‘....I do not want to know anything about you but if you’re an unmarried couple living together, or a separated couple living together, or perhaps two men or two women living together....then listen to what I have to say.....’ It did not occur to this nosey parker that in today’s world two people could get married in all the religious and catholic glory and the wife keeps her maiden surname. It did not even occur to this good soul that two family members with two different surnames could be sharing a house for practical reasons. Other people received the same letter because their letterbox (not doorbell) shows two surnames, so the dimwit did not even think that two neighbours could be sharing the same letter box - a common practice for people living in blocks of flats.

Anyway the point is that the reason why someone would have two surnames on their doorbell or letterbox should be absolutely irrelevant and unimportant to the rest of the world. And even if someone is honestly bothered with it, all they should feel that is in their right to do, is to pray for us wherever it is that they meet to pray, sing and clap, and to hope that their direct line to the Lord will save our souls from burning in hell. For someone to feel that they have the right to write such a heavy letter and not signing it, is filthy arrogance at its best! It is this sort of self-righteousness, cowardice, close-mindedness, hypocrisy and self-absorbed egocentric attitude that keeps pushing the number of church-goers down in the dumps.

That we still have people who call themselves Catholic going round on imaginary crusades trying to ‘convert’ imaginary sinners like us, is disgustingly unbelievable. What next? Will they be coming round to inspect our book shelves and burn the ones with substance? Will they point and shake their heads in repugnance at my three copies of the Da Vinci Code? And (shock horror) what will happen when they spot my collection of Ellen DeGeneres comedies?

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Comments

Kenneth Cassar (on 11/8/09)
@ K Pullicino:

"By the way, the way we're going, I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes illegal to own a copy of The Bible".

If there was a referendum asking whether the government should ban the Christian Bible, as an atheist I would vote against such a ban, as I would if the prohibition was against any other religious or philosophical book.

You see, dear K Pullicino...that's the difference between "evil" atheists like me, and Christian fundamentalists.
Albert Spiteri (on 7/8/09)
If I my surname had been SMALL or BIG or ALBERTS and first name DICK and I decide to put SMALL DICK or BIG DICK or ALBERTS DICK under my doorbell or on my letterbox. I wonder what reaction that would get me! Would the holy brigade conclude that SMALL or BIG or ALBERTS was doing it with DICK?
Alison Bezzina (on 6/8/09)
Too good not to share this .....do you think they got 5 letters or what?
http://www.alisonbezzina.com/catholic-coward-letter/
Steve Pace (on 5/8/09)
@ K .Pullicino. I dont think its an absolute pre requisite to be catholic to do good to others. Many people who do good do not belong to that denomination. Masonic Lodges have done a lot of good and yet they are highly crticised by the catholic church . Feeling of supriority by having the Catholic badge stuck on one's chest does not mean that person is any way closer to the kingdom of heaven then anyone else. He who thinks so is living in the 'imaginery' . Very often it is these people who are so ready to judge everyone else and play the saints. If you make contact with reality in Malta , you would quickly stop living in the imaginery and realize that the so called 'Pure and clean' are not exactly the showcase of Love giving people they claim to be .
Mark Bellizzi (on 5/8/09)
@K. Pullicino
Finally somebody decided to come out defending 'The Catholics'. Up to now I thought that the times readers are all open minded liberals!!!

BTW..... Imaginary good does not exist.....imaginary crusades do..... !!!!
Owning will not become illegal but having it shoved down your throat in hotel rooms should be!!!
K. Pullicino (on 5/8/09)
What about those Catholics that go about their lives doing "imaginary" good, then?

They never seem to be mentioned in the blogs here and, woopsy daisy, "imaginary" generalisations start to form up.

By the way, the way we're going, I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes illegal to own a copy of The Bible.
Joseph Schembri (on 4/8/09)
@Claire Farrugia: That is what I did and in my case there is only one surname.
Lynda Thatcher (on 3/8/09)
I am finding it very difficult to believe that people can be so small minded as to dare write such a letter just by looking at someone's doorbell label. Why can't people mind their own business and not push their religious beliefs on everyone else. This person must have a very boring life that they have the time to snoop on others and write nasty unsigned letters.
Claire Cassar (on 30/7/09)
Al you should just remove the slash between Bezzina and Grima...then it would go unnoticed with all the newly invented double-barrelled surnames around these days! ;)
Klaus Camilleri (on 30/7/09)
If I were you I wouldn't even mind to give them such importance. I presume you have other more important things to do. Personally I don't have time for such nonsense. Anyway I'm disgusted by such arrogant, pathetic citizens who think they are walking the path to heaven. Personally... I would bother to see two surnames on a doorbell of a person I know... because I would have to write two surnames on letters/invitation/etc etc :) and btw keep reading good stuff... stuff that opens the mind.
Chris Briffa (on 29/7/09)
I think the best way to handle these type of bigots is to ignore them. Alison I too have been on the receiving end of these religious fundamentalists and replying to them is giving them the importance they do not deserve.

So . . . . . . . . hold your head high and move on.
Steve Pace (on 28/7/09)
On second thoughts you just gave an idea... My Cats name is Pina... So off i go to Put Steve / Pina on my door bell... At the doorstep i will place a questioanire... Guess What disfunctional family this house belongs to ... Who knows maybe someone will hit the mark ..
Steve Pace (on 28/7/09)
Hi Alison,, i guess the Maltese Inquisition is on its way . Its time has come . I am off to Mdina Dungeons to clear the dust from those magnificant torture toys. Pity my name is not Dominic and my partner is Connie... I would place a nice Name tag on my door Con.Dom Appartment .. Pogguti ! incidentally i would like to share an experience with your readers. Sometime ago i lived in a place which i shared with my ex wife. I had a girlfriend who moved in with me for a couple of months. My mentally incapable neighbour decided that my cat jumped in her yard. When i went to her door to ask for an explanation why she almost beat my door to bits . She said that it was illegal to keep a cat in a flat. I urged he not to shout abuse at my ' Mara ' and to avoid destroying my door . Her reply was... She is not your Mara... You are ' Poggut' ' Dik qeghda mieghek ...." will let your imagination to continue. oh and by the way... She goes to Mass and Takes holy Eucharist ! Sigh Sigh
Harriet Borg (on 28/7/09)
Let's throw an 'Ellen you're not alone party'!!!!
Marlene Vella (on 28/7/09)
@Christa Cassar
This is the redifinition of neighbour's keeper.
In a day and age where we rant so much about spam and junk mail - I'd say this is where these letters rightly belong. However, imagine being the recipient of such a letter at the home you worked hard to create for yourself, I'm sure you'd far from appreciate it. One has to be truly socially deficient to entitle themselves to invade people's privacy in this manner. Like no one has their daily dose of crap from the world at large.
Christa Cassar (on 27/7/09)
All this fuss because they didn't sign it...what difference had it made had they signed, Joe Borg, or Mary Abela, or John Grech or I don't know some other name no one could trace.... just goes to show how ameturerish they are...they give people things to pick on, focus on and remove the attention from the real cause that they are after...all they want is for people to start believing again...and they honestly believe that this is the way to do it.....well surely it got you lot to talk about religion for a while.....
Claire Farrugia (on 27/7/09)
@ Joe Schembri are you seriously suggesting people give in to this sort of harrasment by removing thier two surnames from doorbells? Are you serious? that's like living under cover for the sake of some closed minded fundamentalists.... I would splash the two names as big as I could all over the balcony!
Joseph Schembri (on 27/7/09)
This is unbelievable! I suspect that this could be some devious plot having to do with real estate sales. But then again from what I know of handwriting analysis it seems that this anally retentive person (it would take one to write a letter this long by hand and distribute it to several households) is an introvert (writing sloping backwards) and with an inordinate interest in things sexual (letters beneath the lines longer than the squashed uppermost parts).

But Ms. Bezzina - why don't you do as I do and remove your names from the friggin doorbell! With such nauseas busybodies around one gets to value anonymity.
Josanne Cassar (on 27/7/09)
Good for you for posting the letter on facebook....reading it I felt like we were back in the days of Il-Madonna tac-Coqqa...
having said that, we've had two different names on our mailbox from day one and this anonymous Catholic hasn't hunted us down yet...maybe he/she only sticks to your neighbourhood :)
meanwhile he/she better get busy, with so many people just getting on with their lives and setting up home with whom ever they want, he/she is gonna have a heck of a lot of letters to write.....
Pia Zammit (on 26/7/09)
sweetie you DO need help!
one copy of the Da Vinci code is bad enough - but THREE??????
that's taking excessive to a frightening level.
:)
ok kidding aside - well done for taking a stand about this. you're perfectly right - people should remove their sanctimonious noses out of other people's business and should shove it where it rightly belongs - where the sun don't shine.
everyone is entitled to their own opinion but they're NOT entitled to impose it on others and ESPECIALLY not anonymously. it's the lowest form of cowardice.
grrrr.
Mark Gatt (on 26/7/09)
You own a copy of the Da Vinci Code? no wonder you get these letters :) x'arukaza :)

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